


Begin with Bullet, Now Add Fire to the Proof

by loubuttons



Series: I've Been Tested Like the Ends of a Weathered Flag that's By the Sea [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, No Slash, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Psychological Trauma, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loubuttons/pseuds/loubuttons
Summary: Peter didn’t know if Tony was even alive. Now that he’s back, Peter’s not sure Tony ever came home.





	Begin with Bullet, Now Add Fire to the Proof

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Bandito by twenty one pilots. This is the second work in a series; I strongly suggest that you read part one first. 
> 
> I'd like to thank everyone who read "I'll Mourn for a Kid, but Won't Cry for a King". Your encouragement and support is the only reason I continued this story, and I'm so glad I did. I hope you enjoy!

Tony looks horrible. His cheeks, normally full and tanned, are gaunt and pale. Desperately, he clings to Peter, like he’s afraid he might disappear. Shame and guilt twist Peter’s thoughts. His mentor flinches every time Peter speaks; the worst thing he can say is Tony’s name. When doctors try to escort Tony off the Compound lawn, he lashes out so viciously Peter momentarily doesn’t recognize him. He’s trying to protect Peter from threats that don’t exists. Peter wonders if everyone can see his heart breaking. 

 

“It’s okay, Mr. Stark,” Peter says calmly, and then curses himself as Tony starts, blinking at him with glassy eyes, “They just want to help,” 

 

“Why are you crying?” 

 

Tony seems so confused, Peter almost doesn’t feel the need to answer -- he’ll just forget what Peter says as soon as he hears it. Ignoring the fugitives staring at them, Peter adjusts his awkward grip on Tony. 

 

“I’m just happy to see you, that’s all,” If he tried to explain why seeing Tony’s bruised face and mangled leg is making him ill, he might not be able to hold Tony up anymore. 

 

Tony sighs, relieved, and pushes himself up so he’s holding more of his own weight, “I won’t go anywhere else, Pete,” 

 

Peter has to keep himself from asking if that’s a promise.

 

“Let’s get you inside,” 

 

The fact that Tony doesn’t resist is a testament to his detestable condition. As Peter begins practically carrying Tony toward the Compound, someone stops him with a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“That’s a long walk, son. Do you need help?” 

 

Steve Rogers is staring at him, concern evident in his expression. A strong urge to protect his mentor overtakes Peter. He doesn’t trust this man, or anyone else. 

 

“He’s not your son,” Tony says aggressively, before Peter can answer. His sudden awareness sends Peter reeling -- only moments before, Tony was mumbling to himself about sink drains, “And he’s probably stronger than you, Rogers, so leave us alone,” 

 

If Peter had any nagging doubts that the man who limped off that jet was really Tony, they’re soothed. Wide-eyed, but pleased, Peter shrugs. 

 

“I guess I’m taking him to the Medbay,” 

 

“Wait,” Tony breathes, and Peter stops, “How strong  _ are  _ you?” 

 

Rolling his eyes, Peter keeps walking, “I don’t know, I’ve never tried to find out,” Strong enough to lift a building off himself, “I thought you had something important to say, Mr. Stark,” 

 

Clearly, Tony’s adjusting to Peter’s presence, since he’s begun making jokes, “That  _ is _ important, Tater Tot,” The nickname Peter normally despises has never been more full of adoration, “I want you to beat Captain America arm-wrestling. Think you’ve got it in you?” 

 

Clumsily, he pretends to check the muscles on Peter’s arm, which is around his shoulders. Acutely conscious of the parade of people behind them, including Captain America himself, Peter laughs, slightly hysterical. There are still tears in his eyes. 

 

“I’ll give it my best shot,” It’s like having a whispered conversation with Ned during class -- if he arm-wrestled Captain America, who would win? Does it even count as winning if you beat a ninety-something year-old? -- expect Tony isn’t whispering. And this is more embarrassing. 

 

Humming in appreciation, Tony says warmly, “That’s my boy,” 

 

It’s so unexpected that Peter can’t stop the sob that follows. Tony doesn’t point it out. 

  
  


Once they make it to the MedBay, the doctors want to sedate Tony. So far, he’s only fought back verbally, but it’s obvious that he isn’t in his right mind and feels threatened. If someone doesn’t relent soon, Tony might start using fists instead of words. 

 

Calmly, Rhodey approaches the hospital bed Peter dropped Tony in, “Tony, you wanna tell me why you don’t want them to sedate you?” 

 

When Tony answers, softly, he sounds frightened -- nothing like himself, “He’ll start screaming again,” 

 

Beside Peter, a small group of people has assembled. Pepper, who can’t seem to calm down, and Tony’s fellow prisoners. At his words, which confound everyone else, Black Widow’s fists clench, Dr. Banner’s eyes fill with tears, and Captain Rogers hangs his head. Whatever that means, they understand. 

 

“It’s alright,” Rhodey replies, unfazed, “But your leg might need surgery, and from what I remember, you’re not fond of people operating on you without an anesthetic,” 

 

Confused, Tony tries to sit up and inspect his limb, “My leg? What did they do to it?” 

 

Any clarity he had while speaking to Peter is gone. Peter can’t bear to watch as Rhodey is forced to push Tony down into his pillows. 

 

“I don’t know, Tones. Neither do the doctors, and they have to make sure you’re alright,” 

 

“No,” Tony insists, “This isn’t a hospital -- we’re not allowed to leave,” 

 

As Rhodey struggles to sooth his manic rambling, Tony only becomes more agitated. 

 

“Where did they go? Did they leave us here? They left you here with me,” He sounds betrayed and heartbroken. 

 

“I don’t know who ‘they’ are, Tony,  _ please _ , if you don’t calm down they’re gonna put you under anyway,” 

 

Peter watches as one of the doctors reluctantly prepares a syringe. He wants to step between Tony and the doctors, to protect him when he’s obviously terrified, but Peter can’t make himself move. 

 

“It’s alright,” Tony tells Rhodey, false bravery in his tone, “I’ll get us both out,” 

 

“Of course you will, Tones,” 

 

The sincere trust in Rhodey’s voice seems to comfort Tony. Shortly after, he gives in, exhaustion finally seeping into his bones. Just before he’s dragged under he whispers, like a prayer, “I’m coming, Peter,” 

  
  


Tony’s leg has suffered second-degree burns, and been impaled by a piece of sheet metal. Dr. Banner tries to explain the condition Tony was given to him in, but he trembles with every word. 

 

“Bruce, do you need a doctor?” Pepper asks, slightly more self-possessed now she can’t see Tony’s condition. 

 

“No,” He shakes his head, “I don’t think the rest of us are injured. Anything they did to us healed while we were there,” 

 

Captain Rogers and Black Widows affirm his assessment. 

 

“What happened?” Rhodey asks them, searching for the parts of the story Peter couldn’t supply him with. 

 

“I don’t know,” Dr. Banner says, “Steve and Natasha were on their way to pick me up -- Thor dropped me on Earth -- when they got a call from Tony with coordinates. By the time we got there, he was gone. We tried to find him and got surrounded by Hydra agents. They knocked Steve out first; their weapons were insane. It was like trying to fistfight a neuclear bomb. They got me next. Nat went quietly for our sakes,” 

 

“Why would he call Steve and not me?” 

 

Peter was wondering the same thing. Maybe if he had, Tony wouldn’t be in an operating room right now. The more of the story they tell, the more guilty Peter feels. If they hadn’t gotten separated, maybe it would be Peter with a burn and a foot-long gash. It would be better that way. 

 

“We think he panicked,” Black Widow supplies quietly, “But anytime we tried to ask him what happened he didn’t answer,” 

 

Captain Rogers solemnly joins in, “I don’t think he remembers,” 

 

To forget something that significant, Peter knows Mr. Stark would have to have chose to not remember. Ignoring Captain Rogers, Rhodey addresses only Dr. Banner and occasionally Black Widow. 

 

“How did he get a burn through his suit? How’d a piece of sheet metal even touch his leg? When Peter saw him last, he wasn’t injured at all,” 

 

Everyone in the room turns to face Peter. It makes his skin crawl, to have so many dangerous eyes on him. 

 

“He was fine,” Peter reiterates, and hates how small his voice is, “His armor was fine,” 

 

They’re taking him in, from his mussed hair and cheap shoes to his tear-puffed eyes. Anxiously, he tries to stand taller, unconsciously channeling some of Tony’s signature confidence. He doesn’t know why they all gaze at him so intently, and is almost afraid to find out. 

 

“Tony didn’t know either,” Dr. Banner says, “He said he couldn’t remember how he got hurt,” 

 

“What happened?” Captain Rogers has a commanding voice -- one that Peter finds irritating. Maybe it’s because he remembers Tony’s swollen eye and broken ribs after they had a fight Peter isn’t allowed to ask about. 

 

Tilting his chin up, Peter answers, “Mr. Stark got a distress signal. He said it looked like nothing so he felt comfortable taking me,” Peter inhales as the story he’s told hundreds of times in the past two weeks flows out of his mouth, “We suited up, and he flew us to the site,” 

 

_ Vividly, he remembers the flight. It had been exhilarating and terrifying all at once. He’d been with Mr. Stark on a simply recon mission -- it was the most exciting thing that had happened all year. Then the missile knocked them out of the sky. _

 

“Hydra was waiting for us,” Peter inhales again.

 

_ He was flung from Tony’s metal arms. As he fell, he heard Tony’s brokenhearted cry. He’d tried to tell Tony he would be fine; Tony hadn’t heard. _

 

“We got separated immediately. I got knocked out,” Familiar guilt rises up. Ashamed, Peter drops his gaze to the floor.

 

_ He woke up surrounded, backed up against a tree, with seemingly no way out. _

 

“They found me pretty quickly,” 

 

_ As they advanced, Peter called into the comms, trapped by gunfire.  _

 

“I tried to ask for help, but no one came. Hydra must’ve been interfering with the signal, so I fought my way out,” 

 

_ He took a bullet to the foot in the process. In four days, it had already healed. _

 

“Then --” 

 

“Sorry,” Dr. Banner interrupts. Peter’s head snaps up, “You  _ fought _ your way through a bunch of Hydra agents? Tony said you’re sixteen,” 

 

In all the times he’s told this story, no one has thought to point out that insignificant fact. Confused, Peter cocks his head, “I am,” 

 

“He’s Spider-Man,” Captain Rogers clarifies, with a trace of respect in his tone. While Peter considers how he figured that out, Dr. Banner’s brow furrows. 

 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been on an alien planet for two years, that means nothing to me,” 

 

Slightly disheartened, Peter shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter -- I got out. I think they were expecting Mr. Stark to come alone, because they didn’t try to follow me. Karen said that the protocol --” 

 

“Karen?” Captain Rogers looks perplexed, as if he expects Karen to be an actual person. 

 

“My AI. Mr. Stark built her for me, and my suit,” 

 

Disbelieving, Black Widow finally breaks her silence, “Tony gave you an AI and named her Karen?”

 

Telling this story is painful, and at times humiliating; with every unnecessary interruption Peter feels his temper flare.

 

“No,” Struggling to maintain his composure, Peter briefly closes his eyes, “ _ I _ named her that and it  _ isn’t important _ ,” 

 

Silence follows his tense answer. Inhaling once more, Peter continues, “Karen said that if Mr. Stark and I are separated on a mission, the protocol is to get back to the Compound or another safe location and wait for him there. If I tried to go looking for him, my suit would override and take me home itself,” 

 

Karen calmly informed him at the time that said protocol is called  _ Lost in the Mall _ . Selectively, Peter leaves that part out. 

 

“I thought he would be waiting for me when I got back here but…” Tears choke him. The reality of where Tony truly was is overwhelming. 

 

“I’m glad that you didn’t try and find him, son,” Calmly, Captain Rogers ignores his crying, “You did the right thing,” 

 

Peter doesn’t know these people, and he shouldn’t care what they think, but the words sooth him. Despite Peter’s initial aversion to him, Captain Rogers has a calming presence. It helps that every other adult in the room, including Tony’s fiance, is nodding. 

  
  


They spend the next two hours anxiously awaiting news. Rhodey and Pepper eagerly engage Dr. Banner in conversation, trying to understand where he’s been for two years. Emotionally exhausted and exhilarated all at once, Peter can’t bring himself to pay attention. Even when Dr. Banner launches into the gruesome tale of Thor’s devilish sister gouging out his eye, Peter slips in and out of awareness. He’s drifting, caught between himself and Tony; idly, he wonders what Tony did when he thought Peter was dead. He doesn’t want to know. 

 

“Hey,” Black Widow startles him out of his thoughts. If it hadn’t made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, he would find her warm smile comforting, “I’m Natasha,” 

 

She holds out her hand to shake; when Peter takes it, everything in him says to let go immediately. 

 

“Peter Parker,” Years of training take over, and Peter introduces himself without a second thought. 

 

“It’s nice to meet you. We were all very worried about you,” 

 

Her tone is designed to be calming. Peter’s body thinks her presence is anything but. 

 

To say he’s confused would be an understatement, “You were...worried? About me?” She doesn’t know him. They’ve only met once, and he had a mask on, fighting on opposing sides of a war. 

 

The corner of her mouth twitches up into a calculated half smile, “Tony was very...affected when he was told you were dead. I hoped it wasn’t true. Organizations like Hydra often use misinformation to break the spirits of their prisoners,” 

 

_ You would know, _ whispers a part of Peter that he struggles to ignore. 

 

“Well, they should’ve done more research on Mr. Stark,” Peter answers politely, “I pretty sure that would just piss him off,” 

 

He flinches when Natasha laughs, “That’s exactly what happened,” 

 

When Peter says nothing, she continues hesitantly, “I wasn’t aware Tony had a son,” 

 

When he realizes she’s referring to him, Peter feels such conflicting emotions he doesn’t know how to respond politely, “He doesn’t,” 

 

He’s not Tony’s son. Tony isn’t his father. Peter’s never had to confront those facts so directly before. Now, it’s because an ex-assassin, who was once an Avenger, was held captive with Tony for two weeks. She wants to know why Tony cares if he lives or dies. Peter doesn’t have the answer to that. 

 

“Oh,” She says softly. Peter’s hyper-aware of Captain Rogers watching them. 

 

“I’m his intern,” Peter tells her, as if that’s an explanation. 

  
  


Peter hoped against all hope that Tony would know where he was, when the anesthetic wore off. He doesn’t. Too weak to fight, Tony simply cries silently. He seems like a husk, unresponsive as Pepper strokes his hair. Peter runs to the nearest bathroom and vomits. While he’s on his way back into the MedBay, F.R.I.D.A.Y. regretfully informs him that Tony has gone back to sleep. 

 

When Tony wakes up again, Peter wants to be there. He waits by Tony’s beside, and avoids looking at Tony’s bruised face. Gently, a nurse reminds him that he’ll sleep for hours, while the anesthesia wears off. Peter doesn’t care. 

 

“Pete?” 

 

Tony’s voice is odd, when he first wakes up. His words slur together like a note suspended. Immediately, Peter’s head snaps up. 

 

“Mr. Stark!” In his excitement, Peter briefly forgets Tony’s new aversion to his own name. 

 

“Tony,” Peter hesitantly amends, wishing that it didn’t feel so foreign on his tongue. 

 

Sighing in relief, Tony stretches a hand toward Peter. Awkwardly, Peter takes it. This is new. Tony rarely seeks out physical affection or reassurance. They’ve shared three hugs to date -- only one was initiated by Tony. It was when he fell into Peter’s arms. Truthfully, Peter doesn’t know how to feel about that exchange. The guilt he felt in the moment overshadows anything else. 

 

“Thought you were gone. I thought earlier was a dream,” 

 

Swallowing back tears, Peter squeezes Tony’s calloused hand, “It wasn’t. I’m here,” 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come when you called. I would’ve. I wanted to,” Resolutely, Tony gazes at the ceiling. He looks like he’s trapped somewhere else. 

 

“You don’t need to apologize,” He’s never felt so small, “I - I’m sorry I didn’t try and find you. If I had known what--” 

 

“Don’t ever apologise for that again,” Fiercely, Tony’s voice cuts him off, his eyes now locked on Peter’s face, “Just...don’t,” 

 

Meekly, Peter nods, “Okay. Okay, Mr. St--” Peter catches himself and starts again, “ I won’t,” 

  
  


It’s been two weeks. Tony’s leg is healing, slowly, but his mental state is deteriorating. With May’s help, Peter has tried to spend as much time at the Compound as possible. He’s beginning to think his presence is as harmful as it is helpful. Tony still can’t stand to be addressed as ‘Mr. Stark’. Calling him anything else is so uncomfortable, Peter’s taken to not calling him anything at all. Constantly, Peter yearns for the easy familiarity they experienced before. Now, their relationship is so strained he often regrets coming over. 

 

Tony rarely leaves his lab, because he’s anxious to avoid the rouge Avengers, who are remaining at the Compound. While Tony works on resolving the Accords, he doesn’t speak to them. And Peter feels caught in the middle of it all. He can’t bear to let Tony wallow, but wishes he could. 

“It’s alright,” Pepper tells him one day, as he leaves dejectedly, “He was like this after Afghanistan, too. He just needs time,”

 

He doesn’t find that comforting. 

  
  


“Hey,” Peter says, willing himself to be as positive as possible. 

 

At his work table, Tony doesn’t respond. Undeterred, Peter drops his backpack by the door. He’s skipping patrol tonight to be here, but kept his suit in his bag just in case. 

 

“Ned and I started working on our project for the science fair. He said we should just use the web-fluid but I thought think that wouldn’t be fair, not to mention a dead giveaway,” This is how they interact now -- Peter talks, and Tony says nothing. Peter doesn’t know if he even listens at this point.

 

“I mean I didn’t  _ technically _ develop it using my powers, but I did do it  _ because _ of my powers, and isn’t that sort of the same thing? Anyway, we’re not using that. We’re going to try and make a tachyon enhancer. Ned thought it might be too ambitious, but I told him that--” 

 

Abruptly, Tony drops his tools, and swivels to face Peter, “You don’t have to do this,” 

 

Peter’s so stunned, he almost forgets to respond, “Uh, what?” 

 

“This,” Tony answers, his voice falsely chipper as he gestures between them, “Check up on me everyday. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to stop me going off the deep end,” 

 

Peter considers the self-loathing in Tony’s expression, “I know I don’t,” 

 

Tony, a whirlwind of energy, limps away, pretending to look through an array of tools,“I get that you feel guilty -- don’t try to deny it, I can see it every single time you look at me -- but I’m not your responsibility. Quite the opposite, actually,” 

 

Peter hates this. He hates the way Tony can’t look at him; he despises the fact that Tony is trying so hard to keep his tone light. This isn’t a joke -- they’re actually debating whether or not Peter should care if Tony’s alright. 

 

“I’m not coming over to see you because I feel bad,” Anger seeps into his voice without Peter’s permission. 

 

“Yeah, I’m sure you just really enjoy the silent hours-long car rides with Happy,” 

 

“No, actually, I enjoy your company,” 

 

“Uh huh,” Dismissively, Tony limps back to his table, “Sure thing, Tater Tot,” 

 

“Don’t call me that while you’re being a jerk,” Peter snaps. 

 

Tony finally looks at him, almost like he’s impressed, “Got a good reason why I shouldn’t?” 

 

This is the Tony Stark Peter had always been told about -- the one he’s never met until now. Peter detests this persona, because he knows it’s designed to make him angry, to hurt him, so he won’t want to come back. But he’s met Mr. Stark, and he won’t believe that this is the real him. Not after Mr. Stark came to his parent-teacher conference because May couldn’t; not after he tenderly bandaged Peter’s scraped hands after a fight; not after he paid for the flowers Peter and May laid on Uncle Ben and Richard Parker’s graves on Father’s Day; not after Peter held Tony in his arms, while he cupped Peter’s cheek, because he thought he would never see Peter again. No, this isn’t Mr. Stark. 

 

“Because I love it when you use that nickname, and I’m not letting you ruin it,” 

 

“Thought you hated it,” Tony challenges, his eyebrows furrowing, like he’s thinking. But Peter knows he’s just trying to contradict anything Peter says. 

 

“I did, until I thought I’d never hear you say it again,” 

 

Tony doesn’t have a response to that. Instead, he plops down onto his stool and picks up his abandoned tools, “Just go home, Peter,” 

 

Miserable, Peter sighs, “Why?” 

 

And this is it, this is when Tony can’t keep up the facade, “Because you’re sixteen, and you’re wasting your time trying to fix something that isn’t your fault,” His voice is harsh, unlike anything Peter is used to, “I get it -- you feel like the whole world is your responsibility, but it’s not,  _ I’m  _ not and I don’t want you to be here because you feel like you have to be,” 

 

He sounds so furious. So lonely. Peter can’t stop the stab of hurt that makes tears fill his eyes. 

 

“Mr. Stark,” He begins calmly, deliberately using the old affectionate name, “I’m not trying to fix anything. I’m spending time with you--” 

 

“Don’t--” 

 

“If you interrupt me right now, Mr. Stark, I’m serious, I might flip out,” He’s shocked when Tony stays silent. There’s hidden hope in his eyes, as he watches Peter expectantly. 

 

“I’m here because I want to be. I don’t care if you never say anything to me again -- I  _ want _ to tell you what I did at school. I want to watch you build an Iron Man suit for the hundredth time. I like eating takeout with you, while you help me write essays. And when you didn’t come home…” 

 

For a moment, he has to look at the floor to wipe away his tears. When he looks back up, Tony is staring at his hands. 

 

“When you didn’t come home, I lost that. That was the worst two weeks I can remember ever having. At least when Ben and my parents died, I knew they were dead,” He didn’t mean to say that. He didn’t want to make that comparison. But it’s said now, so he forges ahead, “But you’re not dead, Mr. Stark. You’re here. I’m here. And I’ve lost enough. So I’m not leaving, unless you actually want me to,” 

 

Bravely, Peter holds Tony’s gaze. He’s said and admitted too much, and Tony isn’t saying anything. But Peter lets his words rest between them, and waits for Tony to send him away. 

 

Finally, Tony stands, “I don’t want you to leave,” He looks more miserable than Peter feels. 

 

“I know you don’t, Mr. Stark,” 

 

Tony smiles slightly, “Don’t call me that when I’m being a jerk,” 

 

Peter can’t help but laugh. Done with the pretense, he steps forward, more relieved to have Tony back than he can express. Slowly, and without caring whether or not Tony will reciprocate, Peter wraps his arms around Tony’s middle. His head is tucked under Tony’s chin; he can hear Tony’s unsteady heartbeat. 

 

“I missed you,” All the chips are down, Peter might as well be honest. 

As Peter feels something wet drip into his hair, Tony hugs him back more tightly than he ever has before. 

 

“I missed you, too, Peter,”  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I was not expecting the direction this fic took, but I decided to trust myself and see where it went. I'm quite happy with the final product. Let me know what you think with comments or kudos! 
> 
> (If you have questions or want to scream about Marvel with me, check out my tumblr! My username is Loubuttons.)


End file.
